The Human Tiki Torch

Is that flash of light…the…the sun?

Yes. And also my flaming white legs I chose to bare today. There was a time I was called “olive skin toned”. That was before I worked in an office and theatres. How can Dita be so white and look creamy, and I look just ill?

And one of my sisters is orange. You know, for prom. The other one is freckly.

While we’re on the subject, last night I said to Will, “What do you think about the whole Roswell thing?” And he said, “I don’t think about it.” And that’s where we differ. I LOVE a good UFO story. Anything considered “paranormal”. According to, Para is a prefix appearing in loanwords from Greek, most often attached to verbs and verbal derivatives, with the meanings “at or to one side of, beside, side by side” ergo, “paranormal” = to one side of normal. And that’s where I live. You can see normal from my place, but it’s still a bit of a walk. Like the Sears tower.

I can own paranormal. No problem. But what do you DO with it? Other than creep people out and make close friends question your sanity? I don’t know. I’ll just be over here reading this conspiracy theory book while you figure it out.

It’s 9:07 in the am and I’ve already eaten my “snack” cookies.

In the DIY category, I made some shower gel with decent texture (yay xanthum gum), but the scent. It’s not a bad scent. Especially if we were, say, camping. But I’m not camping. I’m sitting at a desk in a little blue dress. So the combo of cedarwood, pine and citronella is a little out of place. Why, you may ask, would you think that that combination would smell fresh and feminine? Because the recipe was called “Alabaster” and re: my legs, I thought it was appropriate. AND aromatherapy oils combine in synergistic manners becoming more than the sum of their parts. Sometimes. This time, it’s pretty easy to pick out the scent of pine and citronella. So, if you are having a bug problem, just let me know. I’m a walking bottle of Pine-sol with a dash of Cutter. It’s the kind of smell my Dad would like. It’s the kind of smell that goes well with plaid flannel. But, waste not want not. I’m going to bathe with this stuff until it’s gone, and THEN I’m breakin’ down and buying some damn rose oil and amber oil. That’s what I should smell like. Not Deep Woods Off. Although until this bottle runs out, I’m available for barbecues and other outdoor events. And c’mon, I’m way more enticing than a yellow candle in a bucket.



One thought on “The Human Tiki Torch

  1. TEHE. Paranormalness…I think about it all the time. Will WOULDN’T think about it. 🙂 lol Thank God for your blogs.

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